The importance of accuracy in your tax return
We all know that we have to provide detailed answers to official questions, especially on any Government forms, so why have Her Majesties Revenue and Customs (HMRC) objected to the degree of sublime, honest and fair accuracy provided by one witty respondent.
In response to the question;“Do you have anyone dependent on you?”
One man answered: “2.1 Million illegal immigrants, 1.1 Million crackheads, 4.4 million unemployable Jeremy Kyle scroungers, 900,000 criminals in over 85 prisons, plus 650 idiots in Parliament, and the whole of the European Commission”.
HMRC has returned the Tax Return to the man in Evesham, London UK after he apparently answered one of the questions incorrectly.
HMRC stated the response he gave was unacceptable.
The man’s response to HMRC was: “Who did I miss out?”
A few more Tax jokes to brighten your day
“Tomorrow is the day to mail in your tax returns, which means tonight is the night to start making fake receipts.
When it comes to taxes, there are two types of people. There are those that get it done early, also known as psychopaths, and then the rest of us.” –Jimmy Kimmel
A man was driving along the road when all of a sudden he has to swerve to avoid a box falling off the lorry in front.
Seconds later a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. As the policeman starting writing the ticket he noticed the box was full of nails and tacks.
“I had to serve or I’d have run over those and blown my tyres!” protested the driver.
“Ok”, replied the officer, ripping up the ticket, “but I’m still bringing you in.”
“What for?!” retorted the man.
“Tacks evasion”, answered the policeman.
How do you know you’ve got a good tax accountant?
He’s had a loophole named after him.
“Having a good tax accountant sort out my taxes saves me time – about 10 years in fact!!”
If a tax man and a lawyer were both drowning and you could only save one, would you go to lunch or read the paper
Who makes the best detective – Sherlock Holmes or a tax accountant?
The tax accountant – they make more deductions
What’s the difference between a dead rat and a dead tax inspector found on the road?
There are skid marks by the rat.
What do cannibal tax advisors do after their Office Christmas Dinner ?
Toast their clients.
Have you heard the joke about the interesting taxman ?
No. Me neither.
Did you hear about the cannibal Tax Accountant?
She charges an arm and a leg.
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