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The importance of accuracy in your tax return

We all know that we have to provide detailed answers to official questions, especially on any Government forms, so why have Her Majesties Revenue and Customs (HMRC) objected to the degree of sublime, honest and fair accuracy provided by one witty respondent. 

HMRC Don't Possess A Sense Of Humour!

HMRC Don’t Possess A Sense Of Humour!

In response to the question;“Do you have anyone dependent on you?”

One man answered: “2.1 Million illegal immigrants, 1.1 Million crackheads, 4.4 million unemployable Jeremy Kyle scroungers, 900,000 criminals in over 85 prisons, plus 650 idiots in Parliament, and the whole of the European Commission”.

HMRC has returned the Tax Return to the man in Evesham, London UK after he apparently answered one of the questions incorrectly.

HMRC stated the response he gave was unacceptable.

The man’s response to HMRC was: “Who did I miss out?”

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We hope that our readers are having a wonderful Christmas and to keep you in the festive spirit we have a few laughs for you to share. Enjoy

 

Asbestos FSBO

Asbestos FSBO

fsbo-neighbour is an asshole

 

Repairs And Complaints Received by Letting Agents from Tenants: (These are 100% Genuine and are taken from actual letters and comments on forms). 

 

  • I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
  • I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
  • Their 18 year old son is continuously banging his balls against my fence. Not only is this making a hell of a noise, but the fence is now sagging in the centre.
  • This is to let you know there is a smell coming from the man next door.
  •  I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the wall 
  • I wish to report that tiles are missing from the roof of the outside toilet and I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.
  • I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.
  • The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.
  • Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.
  • Would you please send a man to repair my spout, I am an old aged pensioner and need it straight away.

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 Funny Property Listing

  • I want to complain about the farmer across the road.  Every morning at 5.30 his cock wakes me up and it’s getting too much.  It’s alright when my husband is on day-shift, but when he’s on back-shifts or nights I get it several times a week from Mr. Docherty next door and at my age it’s too much.
  •  The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.
  • Our kitchen floor is very damp, we have two children and would like a third so will you please send someone to do something about it.
  • The toilet seat is cracked – where do I stand?
  • I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would be pleased if you could do something about the noise made by the man I have on top of me every night.
  • Please send a man with clean tools to finish the job and satisfy the wife.
  • Can you send a joiner to the house. When the woman next door closed the door the other night, she pulled at my knob too hard and now it’s ready to fall off so I daren’t touch it.
  •  I have had the contractor down on the floor six times, but still have no satisfaction.

   The Day Before A Property Repossession

The Day Before Repossession

Read more funny Landlord and Property Investor Jokes HERE

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